All of us have parts. We might have parts that want to avoid unhealthy food and parts that want to eat a cinnamon roll. We might have parts that want to yell at our kids and parts that feel ashamed when we do so. Kids have parts, too. Sometimes, especially in stepfamilies, kids can say …
Dr. Esther Perel, a well-known psychologist and a source of inspiration for me, says: “Bending is what we’re called to do when we can’t change our circumstances, when we can only change how we react to them.” This spoke to me deeply. Not only is it an important concept for stepfamilies to embrace, but it’s …
As the holidays near, hopefully you’ve made plans and communicated those plans clearly. If not, I offer guidance for how to prepare for the holidays in another post, “Eight Steps You Can Take Now to Avoid Tears this Holiday Season.” In this post I offer some ideas you can use when the day arrives. Release …
The holidays are approaching, and what often comes with them is high expectations and a lot of emotion. I don’t know about you, but when I was young, holidays in my stepfamily were HARD. Sometimes the tension would be subtle, but at other times someone would end up in tears, would become angry and storm …
8 Steps You Can Take Now to Avoid Tears this Holiday Season Read More »
It’s a common pattern in stepfamilies, and it’s likely that it happens in many intact families, too: one parent is more strict, so the other compensates by being more permissive. Then, the first parent responds by being more strict, and the cycle continues. If this is familiar to you, you’re not alone! In my last …
Authoritative Parenting, Part 2: A Common Pattern in Stepfamilies Read More »
When I became a parent, I was like any other: I wanted to be the best possible parent and avoid the mistakes that my parents made. I came at it with everything I had, using my education in clinical psychology as way to read up on the best approaches to this or that childhood issue. …
When I was a teenager my stepmother wanted me to refer to her as my mom. She also longed to go shopping together, have deep, personal conversations, and develop a close relationship with me. This, however, made me feel very uncomfortable and anxious. I didn’t have words for it at the time, but what I …
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