Karin Calde

Grief and Joy

In case you didn’t already know, it’s OK to cry. Sometimes, it’s what we need most of all. It’s OK to cry in front of your kids, too, so they learn that grief is a normal, acceptable human emotion. With all the heartache and grief in the world right now, you might have something to …

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Learning to Bend

Dr. Esther Perel, a well-known psychologist and a source of inspiration for me, says: “Bending is what we’re called to do when we can’t change our circumstances, when we can only change how we react to them.” This spoke to me deeply. Not only is it an important concept for stepfamilies to embrace, but it’s …

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8 Steps You Can Take Now to Avoid Tears this Holiday Season

The holidays are approaching, and what often comes with them is high expectations and a lot of emotion. I don’t know about you, but when I was young, holidays in my stepfamily were HARD. Sometimes the tension would be subtle, but at other times someone would end up in tears, would become angry and storm …

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Authoritative Parenting, Part 2: A Common Pattern in Stepfamilies

It’s a common pattern in stepfamilies, and it’s likely that it happens in many intact families, too: one parent is more strict, so the other compensates by being more permissive. Then, the first parent responds by being more strict, and the cycle continues. If this is familiar to you, you’re not alone! In my last …

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