When is the last time you beat yourself up for something you did? It’s common for people to be intensely self-critical, but that can often hurt ourselves and our relationships.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), which is not to be confused with Family Systems, is all the rage these days. It’s not just a fad, though, and it’s popular for a good reason: it’s effective, and research is beginning to prove it. Not only is it one of the most effective ways to heal from suffering
In case you didn’t already know, it’s OK to cry. Sometimes, it’s what we need most of all. It’s OK to cry in front of your kids, too, so they learn that grief is a normal, acceptable human emotion. With all the heartache and grief in the world right now, you might have something to
All of us have parts. We might have parts that want to avoid unhealthy food and parts that want to eat a cinnamon roll. We might have parts that want to yell at our kids and parts that feel ashamed when we do so. Kids have parts, too. Sometimes, especially in stepfamilies, kids can say
I woke up this morning thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. Whether your goals revolve around family or another area of your life, there are specific things you can do to help you maintain the changes that can, in fact, be transformative. Why Developing Healthy Habits is Good for Us According to James Clear in his
Dr. Esther Perel, a well-known psychologist and a source of inspiration for me, says: “Bending is what we’re called to do when we can’t change our circumstances, when we can only change how we react to them.” This spoke to me deeply. Not only is it an important concept for stepfamilies to embrace, but it’s
As the holidays near, hopefully you’ve made plans and communicated those plans clearly. If not, I offer guidance for how to prepare for the holidays in another post, “Eight Steps You Can Take Now to Avoid Tears this Holiday Season.” In this post I offer some ideas you can use when the day arrives. Release
The holidays are approaching, and what often comes with them is high expectations and a lot of emotion. I don’t know about you, but when I was young, holidays in my stepfamily were HARD. Sometimes the tension would be subtle, but at other times someone would end up in tears, would become angry and storm
It’s a common pattern in stepfamilies, and it’s likely that it happens in many intact families, too: one parent is more strict, so the other compensates by being more permissive. Then, the first parent responds by being more strict, and the cycle continues. If this is familiar to you, you’re not alone! In my last
When I became a parent, I was like any other: I wanted to be the best possible parent and avoid the mistakes that my parents made. I came at it with everything I had, using my education in clinical psychology as way to read up on the best approaches to this or that childhood issue.